I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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