1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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