oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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