It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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