Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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