You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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