if you like me you must not know who I am
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize