Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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