Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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