I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize