My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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