I just saw a hot homeless man
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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