I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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