I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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