So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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