The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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