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You're so nebulous sometimes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
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