Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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