Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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