I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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