I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize