I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am midnight drunk by noon
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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