I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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