I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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