spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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