Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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