Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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