we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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