Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize