I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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