You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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