Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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