no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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