He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize