this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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