dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize