I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
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i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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