ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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