just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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