i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize