i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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