so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize