I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is wine microwaveable?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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