please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize