We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize