Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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