How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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