Kiss
Puke
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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