she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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