Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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